158 posts tagged “politics”

(again, this is just satire)

Yang Dipertua,

It has come to my attention that slapping is now being a culture among Malaysians, particularly amongst teachers and students for their late attendance to classes. As such I wish to propose measures to ensure equality amongst Malaysians, as per the 1 Malaysian motto’s wish to increase performance.

Firstly, since students arriving 10 minutes late to classes will be slapped, teachers who arrives late of the same duration, or leaves classes early of the same duration, will be receiving a slap from every member of the class.

This also applies to students and lecturers in our higher learning centres.

Similarly, this culture must also be implemented in the workplace to encourage performance of employees as well as employers.

The slapping of employees arriving 10 minutes late to work will be encouraged, as will the slapping of managers by all his subordinates for arriving late of the same duration.

This culture will also be implemented into contractors who are late in their construction projects. For every 10 minute delay, the government, or owner of the project, and the financiers, are allowed to slap the contractor and members of the crew.

Similarly, to encourage the culture within the government, all government projects that are delayed will be punished with a slap for every 10 minute delay for the minister whose signature approved said project. The rakyat will also be allowed to take part in this culture. If the rakyat were to meet an MP that has yet to keep an electoral promise within his area, he is encouraged to slap the fellow MP for each 10 minute delay he has made for implementing his promises.

Yang Dipertua,

If somehow slapping a student for being 10 minutes late will encourage him to come in early and be on time, then I suggest, with our culture being one that wishes to put ‘performance now’, then we as the government should be the first to experience and put this into practice.

*slaps Anwar for failing his government takeover last September 16*

I seldom take a stance on the issue of Perak because I consider it a state issue. However, since our Home Minister has commented that the removal of the former Speaker Sivakumar by the police is within the Standing Orders of Perak state, I have to interject.

See, this is where being an independent makes you a rational and better human being than being a biased nutcase on either side. You actually seek out information for yourself.

http://www.digitalibrary.my/index.php?view=article&catid=75%3Astanding-orders&id=901%3Astanding-orders-of-the-state-legislative-assembly-of-perak-darul-ridzuan&option=com_content&Itemid=25

Referring to the PDF file provided above, page 28, Standing Order 44 (2):

"The Chair shall order any member whose conduct is grossly disorderly to withdraw immediately from the Assembly during the remainder of that day's sitting, and the Bentara Dewan shall act on such orders as he may receive from the Chair in pursuance of this Standing Order"

The standing order specifically states that the Bentara Dewan shall act on such orders, not the police. Therefore, the government of Perak has every right to sue the police and the Home Minister, as Hishamuddin Tun Hussein suggests.

Politics is hypocrisy, which makes politicians the greatest hypocrites on Earth. Any doubt of such was erased just reading the papers right after the PAS Muktamar when you had their leaders at first chastise each other for wanting to form a 'unity government' with UMNO and then mention that they won't be 'joining UMNO'.

Okay. Just what the heck does that mean?

Imagine this.

Let's just say PAS joins the government side. Now we all know that when it comes to voting a resolution in our Parliament, the whip is enforced unless otherwise mentioned.

So then pray tell, just how is PAS going to influence any motion by the government?

Even if they don't vote it won't make much of a difference.

Do you see the irrationality right here?

Well sure, their quest for Malay unity and perhaps more power in handling religious affairs of state would be increased, but in the end it's nothing more than just a smokescreen.

There's only one reason PAS would switch sides and that is to further their goal for a more increasingly religiously conservative government.

And it's obvious that such an objective cannot be met with DAP and PKR, particularly since it has already been stated that such policies will not come to pass without all three parties within the PR's agreement.

With that in mind, what is PAS but basically a courtesan whoring around to see who can give her more power to achieve her ambitions?

Mata Hari had more credibility.

From TheStar newspaper:

WHEN Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak visited Brickfields – known as the Little India of Kuala Lumpur – soon after taking office in April, he left more than just a good impression on the residents.

Tamil Nesan reported that a popular restaurant there now has a “Najib’s Corner” after its owner named part of the outlet after the Prime Minister.

Owner of the Kortumalai Pillar Restaurant S. Sathasivam said he did it because he wanted to honour and show his support for Najib. He said “Najib’s Corner,” was adorned with photographs of Najib’s visit there during the walkabout.

The restaurant is located near the junction of Jalan Tun Sambantan and Jalan Travers. Deputy Federal Territories Minister Datuk M. Saravanan said the people’s support and respect for the Prime Minister had increased after his visit to the area.

Referring to The Nut Graph article "PKR's Campaign Homophobia", I just wish to set the record straight. I'm not.

Now I'm just wondering how many people can actually read through that one.

It takes a specific topic to get me riled up. And one of those topics is of course homophobia in Malaysia. I will not tolerate it and if any politician or leader of a political party decides to make a quip about it, they'll be hearing from me.

Similar as how Ahmad Puad Zarkashi got an e-mail for branding our football players as "pondans" for their bad performance.

Similar as to how Zahid Hamidi got an e-mail for branding chickens injected with hormones turning our population into "pondans".

So when I hear that the Penang PKR chief decided to brand Barisan Nasional as "Barisan Pondan" for not contesting in Penanti, does he actually know what he's saying, coming from a party with an alleged sodomiser leading it?

And if you don't believe that he's a sodomiser, then that's good. However, please believe that he's a supporter of gay rights, which he mentions in an article in The Daily Express in 2008 ,which was one of the reasons Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim has my respect.

Even former Menteri Besar of Perak, Datuk Nizar, knows better than to joke about such things. It's one of the best things about some PAS MPs, they're extremely polite.

So I honestly hope that PKR, which is supposed to stand for equality for everyone, will know better than to let a homophobic idiot represent them at ceramahs, especially when I'm reading about it, before I start dislodging your youth wing piecemeal.

I was actually reading an article by the editor of The Sun and how the current director of PKNS needs to highlight the sins of the past directors of the corporation.

Really? Should we really do such a thing?

Personally I'd love to see that happen. However, knowing Malaysia, just how many branches does he wish this to go down with?

Would he want to do so with the government?

We'd be inundated daily on how the communists of Malaya were actually freedom fighters, which I do agree with.

We'd finally be able to highlight the fact that Malaysia is still under a state of emergency since the 1940s, which is now...69 years after the emergency, and the Emergency Ordinance is still of use.

However, history is a very strong source to prove corruption. Safe to say, Khir Toyo's political career is now probably over due to his wife.

In regards to Question 4 in the Hansard dated 19th March 2009. Question posted by MP Teluk Kemang, answered by Deputy Minister of Health.

The question: What is the government doing to curb the spreading of HIV/AIDS?

The answer: The government has programmes involving counseling, medicare, prevention and an anti-drug campaign.

The follow up: Shouldn't the government be spending more on the campaign via the mass media, featuring documentaries, commercials, etc.?

Follow up answer: The government has allocated RM500 million for the period 2006-2010 for this purpose.

Moronic statement by the MP of Hulu Terengganu: A majority number of those who are infected with HIV/AIDS were looking for it. (sengaja mencari)

Moronic statement number two: This worries the society to the point that our children need to undergo a blood test before marriage.

Moronic question: Shouldn't the government release the information of HIV/AIDS carriers to the public, other than those who were born with it or contracted it via blood transfusion?

Brilliant answer by Deputy Minister of Health: There's this thing called a human's right to privacy and the Hippocratic Oath, doctor patient confidentiality, you moron!

I added the "you moron" part, because it's obvious to me that the MP from Hulu Terengganu is living under a coconut shell, which is not hard to imagine for someone from a state with such wonderful beaches lined with coconut trees.

My apologies if this is misconstrued as the words of the Deputy Minister of Health.

First off, dearest MP from Hulu Terengganu, no gay or straight person in this country looks to get infected with HIV/AIDS. And as the Deputy Minister of Health clarifies further in his explanation that it is a crime for someone to not inform his spouse of him/her having it, and I personally hope that someday this will be extended to life partners as well. *knock wood*

It is sad that the MP simply thinks that the blood test before marriage is to merely root out the HIV/AIDS. The blood test could further be extended to root out STD's.

If anything the Deputy Minister of Health was a patient and solicitous person, who was not afraid to state this:

"Even if they have HIV/AIDS, we cannot stop them from marrying. The basics of human rights of an individual needs to be protected and we need to know that HIV is a normal disease that does not spread through touch. And a person with HIV is nothing to frown upon."

I agree with the Deputy Health Minister on this one. A person with HIV should not be frowned upon when there are idiots like the MP of Hulu Terengganu who deserves such honors for himself.

I disagree with the mini budget for a few reasons. For one, we're employing graduates, unemployed graduates who are supposedly willing to take a pay cut and work for a 2 year contract yet somehow couldn't have found a job during a booming economy in 2007 till mid 2008.

Why is that?

And just what are these graduates and retrenched workers going to be re-trained to do, with RM700 million to be allocated to them?

Secondly, I have very high doubts that Malaysians in general are willing to take the place of the 55,000 Bangladeshis that we've cancelled their visas effective immediately.

Yes, I'm sure now Malaysians will come to cities and estates in droves to work in the plantation and construction sector.

Here's what I do know. We're looking at a bunch of policies and money being used to create an bigger job market and encourage the 8.1 percent of the population to work for a living.

Why?

And is RM700 million was enough to retrain them into getting back in the job market, why is it that this was only tabled during the second stimulus package, and not the first?

And even then, how certain is our government that this move into encouraging the private and public sector to hire employees going to work?

I highly doubt this is going to reach it's targeted effect in two years, even if other economists who know better think that these steps will work well to ward off the recession.

The simple truth is this. To ward off a recession a government should not just be making sure that people are employed, but also ensure that this RM60 billion actually returns to them.

I just don't see that happening, especially considering that most of the cash that is sure to be spent somehow goes into the coffers of government officials via the builders, the micro loans and gigantic amounts of tax deductions.

This is not a people's mini budget.

If the government really wanted to spend on the benefit of the people, the first thing they should do is focus on socialising all utilities and roadworks and bearing the cost.

That, in itself, would have been RM60 billion well spent.

Unfortunately, almost all the Opposition MPs were absent from the tabling of this ludicrous RM60 billion mini budget, thus making it possibly the greatest robbery of tax ringgits to date.

As a fan of all things political, it's sad that my own country has gone bonkers in this subject.

While both side's hardcore supporters are choosing sides and drawing lines, the independents of Malaysia can't help but just fold their arms and move on, ignoring the constant screaming from either side.

Ladies and gents, I hate to say this, but Malaysians are starting to view politicians as a whole as nothing but dirty noisemakers standing on a soapbox across from one other comparing dirty linens.

And if that's not enough, it seems that by the end of this month, power will be transferred via a political handout to Najib Tun Razak.

Not via an election or anything democratic like that, no.

The current Prime Minister's just going to step down and hand over the reigns to his deputy.

And considering the many, many stories of his scandalous life, we're basically handing power not to Najib but his wife, the Penguin incarnate.

Rosmah (The Penguin) and Dato' Seri Najib Tun Razak

So how do we react to such an undemocratically chosen Prime Minister?

Apparently, we'll have to wait at least another four years to vote.

In three days, it will be the anniversary that, according to Kee Thuan Chye, Malaysia Woke Up. Looking at the current state of things right now, I do agree that Malaysia did "wake up", and found the entire country running amok with the rage virus.

Kee Thuan Chye's March 8

I honestly wish that Malaysians would go back to sleep now, because the amount of political pissants running around is driving me nuts. It's as if the entire nation has gone political and stopped moving ahead at all.

And the thing is, the news that the state of Perak is in total political disarray actually overshadowed an even more worrying fact yesterday. Malaysia, according to our economists are heading towards a recession. There have been 45,000 people laid off in Malaysia. In addition to that, the states of Sabah and Sarawak were both experiencing floods, but none of these were highlighted by the media. Not enough, anyways.

With that in mind, I can't help but wonder, what's becoming of this nation? Our leaders lack the immaturity to actually work together for the betterment of the nation, and are just happy enough to let it become a slum with a few Bumiputera millionaires while everyone else suffers.

With that in mind, I think it's time for the emergence of an independent coalition of NGOs to start fielding people who for the next upcoming by-elections. Because like it or not, our politicians, both Opposition and government are failing miserably.

I am an advent supporter of Fong Po Kuan (FPK) because I honestly feel that her being in Parliament is like having that one extremely vocal character who will sometimes make sense, in comparison to Teresa Kok who's very quiet, well dressed and makes sense almost all the time.

However, there are some times I just sit back and wonder if FPK goes back home, downloads the Hansards and simply think how stupid she must have sounded in Parliament that day.

This, I am sure, is one of those times.

16th October 2008

Question:

Tuan Chua Tee Yong [Labis] minta Menteri Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat menyatakan, apakah langkah-langkah yang telah dikenal pasti oleh kerajaan untuk membantu sejumlah 498,800 keluarga di negara ini yang mempunyai pendapatan kurang dari RM1,000 sebulan.

Translation:

Mr. Chua Tee Yong asks the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development to list out the steps recognised by the government to assist the 498.800 families in the nation that receive an income of less than MYR1000 a month.

During the additional questions, FPK mentions this:

Translated:

"Thank you Yang Dipertua. Honorable Deputy Minister, last week I went around my Parliamentary constituency of Batu Gajah and visited an Indian community which were living in a squatters area. There was a mother whose husband was in prison, with seven kids, who worked as a bottle washer for MYR15 a day and I was shocked, and I visited about eight houses in this community in Batu Gajah and asked what aid was given by the Community Welfare Department and they answered either none or they didn't know. So I wish to ask if there are any programs and steps prepared by your ministry, for them to inform the Community Welfare Department and assist in hastening aid to these hardcore poor without considering our political differences. This is to make sure that the aid reaches them..."

Deputy Minister Noriah Kasnon replies accordingly:

Translated

"Thank you Your Honor from Batu Gajah. Actually, Your Honor, the duties and responsibilities for us as the peoples representatives and leader are to go down to the ground, survey and see for ourselves, if there are issues as you have raised, please inform the district's Community Welfare Department. Your Honor cannot expect civil servants to be the ones to go everywhere. How many civil servants do we have? So it is our duty, Your Honor, and the duty of the village heads including the JKKK which were picked by the state governments and currentlythe ministry is heading a search project, and one of it's function's being to handle Your Honor's issue. Since Your Honor has already gone to the ground level to look for these hardcore poor individuals, please inform the Community Welfare Department district office. Thank you, Yang Dipertua"

Now I'm not sure what was wrong with FPK on that day, but then she just got bitchy and said that the Deputy Minister's answer was misguiding and told her to retract her statement.

Pardon me for not seeing it, but I don't see anything misguiding about the Deputy Ministers answer. Do you?

Now I'm not going to repeat what Mukhtar Bung Radin said, but honestly, somebody was PMS-ing in that hall, and it wasn't the Deputy Minister of Women, Family and Community Development.

Perhaps FPK didn't understand the answer. In which case, maybe I should be the translator just to tell her what's up.